I don’t know about you, but when I’ve encountered a toxic person, it leaves my head spinning!
Wondering first, “Seriously, did you just say that?” And second, “Wow, what a lack of awareness.” Not to mention the lingering, mind-fogging, rehashing of events or conversations that continues well after those encounters.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “That everyone is you, pushed out.” Or, another favorite, “They’re just mirroring back who you are!”
I can honestly say from my perspective, and with full conviction…that owning 100% of whatever and whoever’s persona comes into your space, is a complete oversight. With so many of us being, walking unhealed traumas, to begin with. Those broad statements, I feel are not only an over-generalization but borderline offensive.
Yes, these toxic turds will absolutely TRIGGER our unhealed and unrecognized, sensitive aspects or shadows of self. And until we recognize those unhealed wounds within us, these close encounters with whatever level or scale of toxicity that’s being “reflected” back to us. Will TRIGGER you no matter what.
1 out of every 10 people that you meet can be incredibly “toxic,” I feel that the majority of us bring levels of toxicity into all of our connections. That is completely normal. Some people are just toxic dumps, trying from a highly disturbed standpoint to purposely “F” up your day! Then you have others that are lower on the spectrum of toxicity that just play the game of what I like to call, “How can I maintain a false presence of empathy, but really I intend to control and manipulate.”
So, for me, let’s educate ourselves. To help navigate through “toxic encounters” by first recognizing our triggers. First, see why it bothers you, and then the most important step of all, NO REACTION at all. Do not engage with them.
This is very hard, I understand, but it’s mandatory!
When involved in a toxic encounter. One of my favorite statements to use when I’m feeling cornered, manipulated or maligned is, “Tell me where this is going?” Or an easier path, say nothing and walk away.
The problem with the second one, using silence, if this person is in your life, through work or home life, eventually you will need to shut it down. By asking the simple question, “Where are we going with this?” It not only reverses the power agenda. But it realigns the energy and places it back on the person trying to possibly malign.
So yes, it is both of you, you’re not responsible for how others treat you. But you are responsible for how you respond or interact with toxic encounters.
Be Unapologetically You!
xxx gail
