RTFR Magazine

I have spent my entire working career directing and dedicating myself to my desired passions and visions within the design world. The wild thing is that I now feel like I’m slowly dismantling it. Not out of frustration, but more from the aspect of letting go of the need for positions and titles.

I completely agree that making a simple statement of, “I’m a _______________!” Choosing to fill in the blank with your chosen career, job, or preferred lifestyle direction makes it all very simple, especially when it comes to introductions. I have always been very proud of what I do and the elements that I have created in my life. But now, it feels different.

I seem to be gravitating toward embracing the fact that I have nothing more to prove to anyone.

But it feels bigger than that.

Most of us spend our whole lives cultivating an identity. Sometimes with great accomplishments. But as many of us know, self-awareness is much more than a title, an accomplishment, or a preferred lifestyle.

Please, take a moment and think about that? Can you embrace that statement, that you’re so much more than what you do? Can you fully accept your life, without what our egos are drawn to accomplish?

When we try to rein in, harness the ego, or even limit our desires, visions, and aspirations, it almost feels like someone is taking the oxygen out of the room. This was so especially true for me years ago. When the visions I had for myself were everything. They brought so many personal realizations and actual identity shifts. So, for me, those chosen desires helped to fulfill the very lifeblood of who I am!

Yes, there were times when my whole world revolved around that next vision or desire. But I still knew balance. Emotional, physical, and especially spiritual. I intuitively live by energy; when I’m forcing something, I know I’m in the wrong direction, and it’s time to switch course.

I’ve learned many lessons in life, and it all starts with self-awareness and self-acceptance. I’ve learned I cannot force something; or hell will follow. I also learned that observing and not reacting is the ultimate game changer. Easier said than done at times.

So, to me, “Who Am I?” is so much more NOW than what title I can carry. That “title” is for our egos. Besides chasing those career titles, I still love fulfilling a vision.

To not only see what that vision would look like in 3D, but yes, to see if it could be something special, and possibly see if something positive could come from that vision. But now, it’s as though I want to sit back and allow! See what comes to me. So many years of efforting. Maybe it’s time now. Time to sit back and allow. Wow, even typing those words are hard, I can’t imagine, no correction…I will now see where this new road takes me.

I want to get out of my own way and see what unfolds organically. Perhaps my visions in life were too limiting?

I look at life as one giant experiment, and I find it fascinating that it really doesn’t matter what you desire, achieve, or create. Okay, wow! Another crushing blow. Who is typing this? Me? “Miss, What Can We Build or Create Next?”

Yep, reality is a slow burn, and difficult to assimilate at times, that ego likes to hold tight, demanding, and restless in the allowing! Girl Preach!

The only thing that matters is that you’re living in alignment with your highest purpose, and how can we be more in step with that? By stepping aside and allowing that alignment to occur with time. I have very little patience to begin with, so this is a major struggle for me, sitting back and ALLOWING.

Your true purpose may have nothing to do with a chosen career. The discovery of your purpose only comes when you’re in a state of peace and emotionally willing to let go of any perceived outcomes. Being in a space of allowing and observing is all about sitting back and watching how life unfolds, as the universe brings to you your mission. Someone shared with me once that your true passion or mission evolves around a specific struggle, a life-changing time, and how you survived it!

Now, this is the part where I scratch my head. Sit back and observe? Aren’t you supposed to gather the wood first to create the fire? The wood won’t chop itself?

Well, here it goes, the struggle is real! Another deep dive into life’s abyss of the unknown. Stay tuned, and let’s see where this road now takes me!

xx gail